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Shiro doesn’t notice at first.
It’s just a lingering feeling, some emotion that turns inside him suddenly, in a way Shiro doesn’t recognize as his own. He guesses it’s the Black Lion’s soul remains inside him, after so many months trapped in the astral plan.
Spending the journey back to Earth in the Green Lion helps keeping those foreign feelings under control. Not travelling with Keith helps ignoring the temptation to touch his hips and caress his back when he’s in his under suit.
Then him awakening the Atlas happens.
The voice start with a whispering, a buzzing at the neck, like Shiro is in a room full of people, even when it’s alone. He can’t distinguish the words at first, he just has the feeling that someone is speaking with him. He’s almost scared it’s Haggar again.
The buzz turns into full sentences, and they’re not casual. They answer and speak as they listen with Shiro’s ears. The voice sounds like Shiro too.
But there’s anyone else behind Shiro when the voice speaks. The voice is without a doubt inside his head.
It’s in the silent and dark of the Atlas’ control room that Shiro is able to access at what seems the Astral Plane but it’s actually his own consciousness.
And it’s there that he meets him. He has the same aspect that used to have in life, with his normal clothes and not his Paladin armor.
“You’re the clone.”
“You seem surprise to see me,” the clone says, and his voice resounds in Shiro’s ears.
“It is surprising.”
“This is my body, did you forget? You’re the guest here, technically.”
“We thought you died.”
A small smile appears. “I thought so. But after Allura puts your soul in here, I was just too weak to manifest. My quintessence was mostly gone, but enough for me to still exist in a corner of your brain. And now, as you’re being able to control the Atlas, I gained back enough quintessence to be back.”
“But then…”
“Relax,” the clone smirks. “I’m still too weak to take back the control of my body. And, to be honest, I don’t want to.” Sadness is in his voice. “You’re the real one between us.”
“So, what are we going to do now?”
Shiro has seen A Beautiful Man. He doesn’t want to end up like the main character.
The clone shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Living with Kuro (that’s the surname he gave to the clone, and the clone himself laughed at the irony of it) isn’t easy. Kuro isn’t only able to affect his emotions, but he has the habit to whisper his opinion in Shiro’s ears at the worst moment even.
It’s not like he and Kuro has different opinions on things. Most of the time they agree: they both agree that the Garrison’s claim over the Lions is baseless, they both consider it’s their duty to protect the Voltron Coalition from the Garrison’s influence and they both fear Earth may become a second Galra Empire.
What they disagree with it’s the way to deal with those situations.
Shiro, as the usual friendly Golden Boy, tries the way to diplomacy, in which is second only to Hunk. He’s sweet, and calm, but firmly in refusing the Garrison’s requests.
Kuro, instead, prefers a more direct approach, he wants to scream to the Garrison’s higher-ups’ faces until they understand they have to stay put. And he doesn’t lose any occasion to suggest Shiro that course of action, especially when Shiro is talking (and trying to focus) to said higher-ups.
The only opinion Shiro and Kuro disagree with is Keith.
Kuro is firmly convinced Keith is in love with him (them?) and that Shiro should make his move.
Shiro doesn’t understand where that belief came from, and he feels embarrassed every time Kuro makes some remarks about Keith than may be considered sexual harassment ground.
He doesn’t see me like that.
He literally confesses to you Kuro reminds him.
As a brother!
Kuro rolls his eyes. I can’t believe I was cloned from this idiot
Shiro ignores him. He prefers Kuro to think he’s an idiot, than seeing his uncertain about his own feeling for Keith. He’s really in love, or it’s just Kuro’s influence? He can’t even consider speak with Keith at the moment.
The bigger problem is sustaining Kuro’s presence when he has conversation with other people. Most of the time it’s like having two different conversations, one on his mind with Kuro, that gives his opinion on everything, and one with the person he has in front.
Most of the time, Shiro loses the grip of which ones is answering to, and instead of yelling inside his mind at Kuro, he yells at the poor unfortunate soul in front of him.
The day Shiro ends up yelling against Nadia, it’s the day he decides he has enough.
With his teeth gritted, Shiro rushes in the control room of the Atlas, luckily empty at that time. He places his hands on the controls.
What are you doing? Kuro demands, a little fear in his yell.
This ends now.
He activates the quintessence of the Atlas: blue lines start running in his direction, but instead of using the power to transform the ship into a mecha, he channels the power inside him, with the intention of using the quintessence to destroy Kuro’s one entirely.
There is a little guilty in Shiro’s mind, but he is Shiro, and the clone is curse to live in his mind. It’s a merciful act, in some way, for both of them.
The power creeps inside his body until Shiro can’t take it anymore. He shuts down the controls suddenly and then faints on the ground.
He wakes up in his bed.
He blinks, looking around and trying to call Kuro in his mind. No answers.
“Did it works?” he asks loudly, and the only answers he gets is the silence of the room.
With still a little fog he stands up and looks at the clock, realizing: an entire day passed from his attempt with the quintessence!
In a rush, he puts back his uniform (probably someone found him in the control room and brought him back in the room): he shouldn’t have afford losing a day! He’s supposed to have a meeting with the Garrison’s higher-ups yesterday, and even if he guessed it was rescheduled, his sense of duty regretted it.
He enters in the control room and none of them seems surprised to see him there. Strange, for a man – the Captain! – that was found unconscious at the control panel and slept an entire day after that.
“Damn, Captain,” Veronica chuckles. “Lance told me about the meeting.”
“You were really scary, Number One,” Coran adds. “Great, bur scary.”
“I’m so mad I miss it!”
“I hope this won’t have consequences,” Iverson comments. “But at least the higher-ups will let us stay for a while so we can prepare our next mission in peace.”
You’re welcome
Kuro’s voice resounds in Shiro’s mind, amused and satisfied, and Shiro shivers.
There is a relief of not having killed him for real, but he’s also scared.
What did you do?
That bust with quintessence? I take you down for a while, and I can’t let us missing the meeting, so I take your place. Don’t worry, the effect was temporary
What did you do? Shiro repeats.
I was just very, very persuasive
Turns out Pidge has a record of the meeting. Shiro sits down watching himself – or Kuro in his own body – yelling at the frozen higher-ups and literally saying them to fuck themselves, that he’s the Atlas Captain and former Black Paladin and if they have something against that they can kiss their ass because nothing will change the situation.
There is admiration in Shiro after layers of incredulity and awkwardness. After all, he wished to say them the same things for weeks at that point.
By the way, you have dinner with Keith tonight
Shiro would have prefer face the higher-ups again.
Yet, he hasn’t the courage to find an excuse for the dinner. Kuro has apparently chosen their favorite fast food in town (it re-opened from a couple of week) and Keith looks happy, relaxed, after weeks of annoyement about his duty as the pilot of the Black Lion. Apparently, Shiro’s stunt took off from Keith’s shoulders some worries.
And seeing Keith so happy makes Shiro more relaxed too.
They order their favorite hamburger, like the old time, and Keith chats a lot, more the usual, about everything: the way the Paladins are helping the people around, how Krolia and Kolivan are gathering the Blade again, how the wolf is learning fetch now that he spends time with Pidge’s dog. And Shiro points out at Keith’s photo on the next Earth magazine, embarrassing him.
“I’m glad you find some time for me, now that you are so famous,” Shiro jokes. “I fear you may have forgot me.”
Keith doesn’t catch the humor. “I won’t ever forget you. I mean, I wouldn’t be there otherwise.”
I feel this is the best moment to confess you I asked Keith this dinner with a bouquet of red roses
A what
He’s probably thinking it’s a date
Shiro blinks. And swallows. And then says, “do you think it’s a date?”
A shade of pink appears on Keith’s cheeks. “The bouquet was a little give away.”
“Oh, God, Keith, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
What
“I really miss your company and I regret not having time to come visit to you in the hospital.”
What are you doing
“But I’m very bad at this.”
Stop please stop
Shiro wishes there is someone able to stop his blabbering. “I didn’t want to confuse you, sorry.”
“Oh,” Keith murmurs. The hand he was about to place on Shiro’s returns on his lap. “Of course. Don’t worry, I’m happy you found some time for me. I know you’re a lot busy too, being the Captain of the Atlas and everything.” He stands up. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
Keith hasn’t never been a great liar.
You are an idiot
When Keith returns, the waiter has brought the hamburger. Keith takes it and starts eating, in silence. Shiro doesn’t miss the red on his eyes.
Kuro waits until Shiro is back in his room before exploding.
What the hell did you do?
What it was right
How it was right to deceive Keith about the date?
I didn’t, you did. Without my consent, by the way
Of course, you’re going to blame me, that’s what you did all the time
Because it’s true. You’re always there, screaming in my head a screw with my life
You stole my body
You’re my evil clone
He doesn’t think that. He knows, deep down, Kuro isn’t evil. They’re the same after all.
Fine, I’m you evil clone but what wrong I did this time? Giving you a chance with Keith? Now he’s probably think you don’t love him the same way
He doesn’t love me the same way
He accepts a date with you, what else did you need to realize he really loves you?
Shiro doesn’t disagree with that sentence. He doesn’t know the right question.
You hurt him
And you’re an expert of hurting him, aren’t you?
The satisfaction of Kuro’s shocked expression covers his guilty feelings.
After their discussion, Kuro disappears.
Shiro knows he’s still there, but he refuses to appear or talk, not even when Shiro calls for him explicitly.
The peace allows Shiro to return to a sort of normality. He has to admit that Kuro’s outburst with the higher-ups helps him. Yet, he’s all the work Shiro has done before, the friendship he has built in the course of the time, and the relationship he has as an actually good and reliable person that allows Shiro to go away with screaming at his superior offices and not being destitute from his position as Atlas Captain.
Despite what the higher-ups say, they know they have to accept Shiro as Captain, because he is, in fact, the savior of Earth and someone that won’t use that power for something else but the greatest good.
“Maybe it was good for you,” Hunk says to him at a certain point. “As a diplomat, that wasn’t the best choice, but you deserve it. You know, I didn’t notice the first time we met, but now I know you well enough to understand that sometimes you keep your feeling too much bottled up. It was a matter of time.”
But it wasn’t Shiro, it was Kuro to explode.
And, Shiro realizes, Hunk is right in a way. All the feeling he doesn’t want to express are what Kuro want to.
It’s again with his hand on the panel controls of the Atlas bridge. In the Astral Plane, Kuro can’t pretend isn’t here. He can’t escape.
“What do you want?” he snorts.
“Apologize.”
“It’s not me you should apologize to.” Kuro scoffs.
“That’s not true. I tried to destroy you, that was bad of me.”
Kuro lifts an eyebrow, surprise but interested. “And why did you change your mind?”
“We’re both victims of the situation,” Shiro states. “It was… hard to me, looking at you trapped inside the Black Lion while you live my life.”
“I didn’t know. I thought I was you.”
“I know.”
They remain in silent for a while, none of them sure of what saying or doing next.
“What do you want to do?” Kuro asks.
“I’ve thinking… I can’t give you your own body.”
“I’m not even sure it’ll be right. I am you. Becoming someone else might be… difficult.”
“So become me.”
“What do you mean?”
“We should meld together. We are the same. We think we can make each other better.”
“Do you think it’s possible?”
“We can try. If you want.”
“Well, the alternative is remaining trapped here and have to watch you the day you’ll finally fuck Keith, so…”
Shiro rolls his eyes. “I won’t be able to be fucked by Keith without your help.”
“True.” Shiro smirks. “I guess I don’t have much choice, for the sake of your sexual life.”
“I thank you for your gentle concession.”
Blue flash of energy spreads from Shiro’s hand, and he feels the Atlas’ quintessence flowing inside him. This time, though, it isn’t something for destroy, but for built. Inside his consciousness, him and Kuro touch hands. Kuro is smiling.
“I’ve always dream having a brother. Thank you for being one.”
When Shiro opens his eyes again and the light is gone, Kuro isn’t in his mind anymore. Unlike the time Kuro hid himself, Shiro can still feel his presence somehow. And Shiro feels whole and sure of himself like he hasn’t been for a while.
Now, he hopes isn’t too late to repair his relationship with Keith.
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